I am 11 weeks pregnant today, going on 12. I'm almost 3 months down! What a crazy ride this is! Now, where did I leave off? Actually, I kind of skipped over some of the finer details. What first...how about...
Nope, it was actually all day sickness, especially for me. I thought I had it bad, but after reading about other women's experiences, I feel incredibly lucky. I only threw up twice; once in a bag in the car, that emotional day when I told my mom, and once at work in a bathroom...luckily one was vacant for once, because it certainly wasn't waiting for anyone! But aside from that, I had a mostly ever-present feeling of slight nausea, sometimes worse than others.
The first couple days were the worst, and I'm sure the emotional torment I was going through elevated my feeling of unwell. As soon as I decided to 'think about' keeping the baby, the nausea and fatigue all seemed so much more tolerable. The physical sensations didn't cease, but my ability to accept them increased. Every time I would get nauseous, I would remind myself that the baby was growing, and that morning sickness was a sign of health. There was a ton of new things going on in my body, of course I'd be feeling sick from all the changes! Sometimes I would pretend the nausea was the baby's way of reminding me it was there. And when I would get really tired, I would imagine the little bean saying, 'Hey, I'm doing a lot of work in here, so I need all of your energy and health because this week I'm growing arm buds!'
I made a 'care bag' that I took with me everywhere. I had crackers (saltines or wheat crackers), candied ginger, fruit leathers, lara bars, and ginger soda. I ate crackers first thing in the morning if I was nauseous. I ate a small snack every time I started to get hungry (any slight feeling of hunger gave me the most painful nausea!), drank plenty of water, ate candied ginger or ginger soda to calm nausea, and avoided anything on my growing list of food aversions (chicken, red onions, plus many more 'impulse' aversions.)
Surprisingly enough, I actually started craving some healthy foods, for the most part! I felt like my body would 'tell' me when it needed salad or spinach. I have my share of junk food cravings too, but my desire for sweets seems to be at an all time low; I usually only want dessert foods every couple days instead of ALL day like pre-pregnancy! Spencer has been a real lifesaver in the food department (as well as every other department, actually). I'm so glad he can cook! I rarely have enough energy to make dinner, and he's so good about catering to my food aversion and providing me with the nutrition I need in my meals! I'm one lucky gal. Now onto...
I definitely have my share of fatigue. I move much slower than I usually did before. I started my new second job as a housecleaner just weeks before my pregnancy symptoms started kicking in. It's much harder to clean a three story house, 7 hours a day, two days a week now than it would have been pre-pregnancy. But I've let my boss there (and at TJ's) know my situation, so I can work at my own pace and take it easy when I need to. My energy is low, my social desires are low, and I love naps. But as I am now starting to leave my first trimester, I can already feel my energy levels slowly returning, like I have been assured they would by other mothers. My morning sickness is rare, and I feel clear-headed (aside from the pregnancy brain!) and much more excited.
No baby bump yet, but my normal, cute jeans no longer button comfortably. Good thing I read about the rubber band trick in The Baby Bump! It's where you loop a rubber band through your button hole and over your button, giving you a couple inches of breathing room. Whew, that will give me like a month. I need to start investing in stretch pants! It's still too soon for maternity clothes, but too late for me to wear my normal t-shirts without looking like a frat dude with a massive beer gut. Hello Spencer's t-shirts and flowy tops. I can't wait for the summer when it will be obvious that I'm pregnant (not just fat!) and can roll around in loose, flowy sundresses and sandals!
Keeping a secret
I don't know how some women keep their pregnancies a secret until the beginning of the second trimester, if not later! I wanted to tell my bosses asap so they wouldn't think I was just hungover all the time! And I wanted to tell my friends and family so I could have support. Now, I know a lot of people wait until the risk of miscarriage lessens, but I would want all these same people to know what I was going through, should something go wrong.
My mom was immediately supportive, and quickly went on to spread the wonderful news (yes, she was very excited) to my close family members, all of whom responded with support and encouragement. I told a few friends (especially during my 'decision' period, where I needed opinions and support) and then a few co-workers. Spencer told his parents, who were supportive and excited and well! But while I'm growing more and more excited about what lies ahead and would love to talk about it and post updates all over facebook, there are still a LOT of people who don't know. It's hard to tell one person, without it spreading to the next, and there are a few people who just don't need to know yet...some of Spencer's friends in particular. I'm afraid of the response he will get from some people, and I don't want them to know until he is ready to tell them. So if you are reading this, please keep this to yourself, and not spread the word until it is obviously public.
While I haven't quite experienced the hormonal rage I have heard comes with pregnancy, I have had my share of feeling flustered and 'snappy.' I find that I don't have as thick of a 'filter' when it comes to speaking my mind. When someone annoys me, I tell them in a straightforward way. When I feel like ignoring someone who's energy is just bothering me, I do. When someone comments on my moodiness, I just say 'mmmhmm' and ignore them. It's almost as if the opposite has happened; I'm LESS emotional than before. I just am what I am. I'm tired and I don't have patience for you to make really stupid jokes, or bait me into a dumb conversation. I might hurt your feelings, but I'm just being honest right now. And when I do get irritated or flustered (especially when I'm working at my housecleaning job and everything seems 100 times more difficult!) I remind myself that stress isn't good for the baby and that I should remain in a calm state. I snap myself out of my stress by saying 'zen for the baby.' It seems to work so far!
So I still have a little farther to go until I am officially out of my first trimester, but I am so excited to start the next chapter!