Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Baby Love, Baby Blues
These early weeks are wonderful, of course. But they are also very challenging. It starts with the lack of sleep. Especially with nursing on-demand, and around the clock, there's not a lot of time for sleep, much less solid, quality sleep. Add to that the fact that this baby dislikes her bassinet and will awaken within minutes of putting her down and will only sleep in our bed cuddled close to mommy, plus her desire to sometimes nurse nonstop, resting only ten or twenty minutes between feedings, and you've got an overwhelmed and over-tired new mommy. Now, it's not always that bad; sometimes she sleeps in 4 hour chunks through the night, which is wonderful in comparison. But those times when I'm awake from 2am to 6am without a wink of sleep are so draining and frustrating that it brings me to delirious tears. I can't help but wonder if I'm doing something wrong when she nurses for almost 12 hours straight, aside from a couple 2 hour naps here and there. And the pain! My poor bruised and abused nipples! I miss my old, non-swollen, non-painful boobs!
All these frustrating things are a taxing adjustment, and sometimes I just need to cry. But I know it will get easier. My boobs won't hurt forever. November will someday require less frequent feedings. Someday she will sleep through the night. Someday she will nap in her crib for a couple hours instead of a couple minutes. Outings will become second nature. I'll have time to clean and do laundry. And before I know it the newborn phase will be over and I'll actually miss the warmth of her tiny body snuggling on my chest.