Tuesday, October 23, 2012

But it gets worse before it gets better

Image from {here}

Things did not go as planned. Date night was not the magical cure I had hoped for. Because date night didn't happen. I was stood up and had my heart completely shattered. I'm not ready to go into details, but I will say that I don't know what the future holds.

And ladies, let me make some amendments to my previous post: grooming yourself to be the perfect girlfriend/wife by avoiding nagging and 'bothering' your partner will do you no good, because he will likely push against even the SLIGHTEST restraints, whether real or imagined. So, girls, tell your man what you need from him and expect him to follow through. I SHOULD have been able to rely on Spencer for help and support. He SHOULD have made himself available, regardless of what was happening in other areas of life. Once you become a parent, your life changes forever. Whether you are ready or not; whether you run and hide; once that baby is born you are a parent forevermore. The ONLY choice you have is what kind of parent you will be. Strong or weak. Loving or cruel. Attached or distant. 

And the best choice you can make as a parent, is to put family first. In every choice you make, in every new endeavor, ask yourself: will this benefit or hurt my family? If I do this, can I continue to maintain balance with my family? No ones feelings or needs should come before family; not your boss, your job, your hobbies, or your friends. You can maintain a healthy balance with all those aspects of life, but family should never leave the top of the list of priorities. And if you find that balance starting to tip, stop, and figure out what immediate changes you can make to bring things back to center.

And above all, communicate. Over-communicate. Communicate whether it's easy or hard. communicate even when you would rather shut everyone out. In fact, comminicate MORE than you want to. I don't think there is anything more damaging to a family unit than failure to communicate.

I pray that things really will get better. I KNOW they will because I'm strong and I ALWAYS make it through the toughest times. I will always put my family first. It WILL get better.

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