Saturday, April 20, 2013

{New Song} Mind Your Heart

So I updated my mommy-life. Now for an update on my personal life: I wrote a new song! I haven't written a new song in maybe three years, and I never really fully liked the last song I wrote. It just never 'clicked.' I think the last 'good' song I've written was in 2009. And, considering this little blog started only two-ish years ago, I've barely even mentioned music or songwriting. I played my last two shows with the Shy Ones in my first trimester of pregnancy. I haven't had much time or thought for music until the past few months, when suddenly, I began itching to play guitar again. In fact, I was itching for a new guitar. A guitar I could pick out for myself that truly felt like it was 'mine' (my prior guitar was a gift. A great guitar...but just never had the magic. You know, like that 'wand-chooses-the-wizard' kind of magic from Harry Potter. Come on, you know what I mean, right?)

So I got myself my dream guitar (as far as inexpensive guitars go): a used Danelectro 56-u1. I love it! A song was already forming in my head, and I immediately went to work. Well, it's been a little over a month and I'm pretty sure my song is completed. I'm super excited about it. It may not be super catchy but the lyrics are some of the most honest I've written. And since I have yet to make any demos of my song, the lyrics are all I have to share at this moment. What is my new song about? Vulnerability and fear. Let me preface...

I started dating a couple months ago. More accurately, I started going on dates. I didn't know what to expect, considering I'd always dated people I already knew. But this is what I wanted. I wanted to date like 'normal' people. I wanted to get to know someone from scratch. Well, I won't say my initial experiences were bad, but I certainly didn't find 'the one' either. It was a little weird getting to know people, sharing personal info, telling 'my story', investing in theirs, maybe even feeling that flutter of hope...only to discover the dudes were lemons. Of course, they seemed like oranges at first. But these lemons, in retrospect, were good. They lead to oranges. Or, better yet, grapefruit, which I actually prefer.

All citrus fruits aside, the new experience made me feel vulnerable. Sometimes I just wanted to crawl into my little shell and say 'to hell with this dating b.s.' Thus, the essence of my post-baby writing debut...

Mind your heart- 2013 Tessonja Odette

Love's a gentle stroll through hell
A walk I know too well
But I keep on returning
Until the soles of my shoes are burning

The heart's a fickle muse indeed
No song's guaranteed
To express the mess we call love
Or tell what we're truly made of

Sometimes I think I'll sew closed my heart
And build a wall so deep no one will 
Tear it apart
Sometimes I think I'll cut my loss and run
And make my heart an island in the

Love's dance on the edge of the sword
One side my reward
The other, my demise
Tread cautious, tread wise

Sometimes I say that I give up
Sometimes I say never again
But I never really mean it
I just keep falling faster 
I know I'll never give up
I know I'll never learn
I'm just one stray gaze away
From my next great un-doing
Mind your heart
Mind your heart

Well, there you go. Someday I'll figure out how to make a little demo, or video. 

18 Months!

My little bug is a year-and-a-half! It amazes me how big she's getting, and amazes me even more how my arm muscles continuously adapt to carrying her weight. The terrible twos are starting to show just a bit in the form of mild tantrums and demands (she's currently obsessed with the show 'Dibo the gift dragon' and freaks out if I don't let her watch it.) And I have a feeling those two-year molars are starting to form under her gums, as she's returned to sucking and chewing on everything. 

Her vocabulary and comprehension are astounding. She is starting to put multiple words together, like 'Hi mama' or 'Papa. Where? Go?' (Where did grandpa go?) or 'hode you' (hold you aka hold me.) I love how she pronounces words like 'muk' (milk) 'so yo' (cereal) and 'onj' (orange). 

This girl loves puppies and gets so excited around animals (like mother like daughter.) 
She loves daily walks, even when the weather sucks. I'm looking forward to finer spring weather so we can frequent more parks and play at the beach. Patience! The weather report looked promising for the week ahead! Crossing fingers!
See, she's already got a summer wardrobe, now we just need some sun!
We had a really fun first-toddler-Easter. I took her to my work (Trader Joe's) in the morning for an Easter egg hunt. She was shy at first as we were waiting outside the door with the other kids, and I was worried she wouldn't let me put her down. But she started getting excited, and asked to be put down just before the doors opened to let the kids in. I was so impressed with how well she participated! She definitely had a little help from her friends (my co-workers and I would point out where to look) but she totally got the idea that the eggs go in the basket. Of course, there were a few minutes where she tried to fill her basket with candy bars from the shelf. My little Easter baby even found one if ten golden eggs that earned her a prize basket. She MAY have had some help finding it, but she at least grabbed it herself.

What else is new over the past couple months? Just loving life, having a great time, and being happy!