So I updated my mommy-life. Now for an update on my personal life: I wrote a new song! I haven't written a new song in maybe three years, and I never really fully liked the last song I wrote. It just never 'clicked.' I think the last 'good' song I've written was in 2009. And, considering this little blog started only two-ish years ago, I've barely even mentioned music or songwriting. I played my last two shows with the Shy Ones in my first trimester of pregnancy. I haven't had much time or thought for music until the past few months, when suddenly, I began itching to play guitar again. In fact, I was itching for a new guitar. A guitar I could pick out for myself that truly felt like it was 'mine' (my prior guitar was a gift. A great guitar...but just never had the magic. You know, like that 'wand-chooses-the-wizard' kind of magic from Harry Potter. Come on, you know what I mean, right?)
So I got myself my dream guitar (as far as inexpensive guitars go): a used Danelectro 56-u1. I love it! A song was already forming in my head, and I immediately went to work. Well, it's been a little over a month and I'm pretty sure my song is completed. I'm super excited about it. It may not be super catchy but the lyrics are some of the most honest I've written. And since I have yet to make any demos of my song, the lyrics are all I have to share at this moment. What is my new song about? Vulnerability and fear. Let me preface...
I started dating a couple months ago. More accurately, I started going on dates. I didn't know what to expect, considering I'd always dated people I already knew. But this is what I wanted. I wanted to date like 'normal' people. I wanted to get to know someone from scratch. Well, I won't say my initial experiences were bad, but I certainly didn't find 'the one' either. It was a little weird getting to know people, sharing personal info, telling 'my story', investing in theirs, maybe even feeling that flutter of hope...only to discover the dudes were lemons. Of course, they seemed like oranges at first. But these lemons, in retrospect, were good. They lead to oranges. Or, better yet, grapefruit, which I actually prefer.
All citrus fruits aside, the new experience made me feel vulnerable. Sometimes I just wanted to crawl into my little shell and say 'to hell with this dating b.s.' Thus, the essence of my post-baby writing debut...
Mind your heart- 2013 Tessonja Odette
Love's a gentle stroll through hell
A walk I know too well
But I keep on returning
Until the soles of my shoes are burning
The heart's a fickle muse indeed
No song's guaranteed
To express the mess we call love
Or tell what we're truly made of
Sometimes I think I'll sew closed my heart
And build a wall so deep no one will
Tear it apart
Sometimes I think I'll cut my loss and run
And make my heart an island in the
Love's dance on the edge of the sword
One side my reward
The other, my demise
Tread cautious, tread wise
Sometimes I say that I give up
Sometimes I say never again
But I never really mean it
I just keep falling faster
I know I'll never give up
I know I'll never learn
I'm just one stray gaze away
From my next great un-doing
Mind your heart
Mind your heart
Well, there you go. Someday I'll figure out how to make a little demo, or video.