Thursday, March 27, 2014

A message to single moms

Being single can be tough. Being a single MOM can feel downright impossible. Especially when it comes to dating. So I'm going to tell all the single mamas out there, the very words I've needed to hear myself at times: you are worthy. Believe it, because it's true. 

It can be hard trying to be optimistic and hopeful about finding the one, when you're worried about how others may view you. Sometimes you might feel like only a certain 'type' of guy could possibly understand or like you, such as fellow single parents, divorced, or emotionally damaged men. And while these men can be absolutely great to create a beautiful relationship with, DON'T limit yourself! When you see a cute guy, DON'T immediately think, 'he would never like me if he knew I had kids.' You may feel guilty about your past or judged or misunderstood. But often, you're the one who's doing the judging.

The first step toward being loved is loving yourself. Stop judging yourself and feeling like you are worth less than the single non-parent women out there. You aren't worth less; you are worth more. You are worth two parents in one! Sure, not every guy will understand this, but you deserve just as much love as anyone else, and anyone can love you, even that hot dude you like to stalk, you know the one. 

Love yourself, treat yourself like the beautiful creature you are. Buy yourself flowers. Make yourself an extravagant dinner, even when your kids aren't home to cook for; cook your favorite meal for YOU. Get pampered. Experience beauty. Dress nice, even if no one sees you. Or dress like a cozy slob, if that makes you feel more pampered and special! Take some time to take care of you. Being mentally healthy and full of love can also make you a more loving, happy mother.

Another good step toward being loved? Love God. I know it sounds cheesy, and when I'm hurting and lonely, it's hardly any comfort to hear, "don't worry, God loves you." It makes me want to shout, "of course God loves me, but what I want is human intimacy!" But when you are ready to get out of your pit of despair, God IS there with all the resources you need and plenty of loving guidance if you simply reach out. Loving God can give you purpose and hope. And knowing God truly loves you, has a plan for you, and will never abandon you (no matter how certain situations can feel for a time) makes it easier to forgive and love yourself.

That's the key, that's always the key; love. Love yourself, love others. Judge others less. Treat people the way you would want to be treated...including YOU! Speak kind words to and about yourself. Dare to hope. Dare to believe all the hot single dudes think you're cute too. There are plenty of douche bag guys out there who run from single moms, and by all means, scare them away! But love yourself, see your worth, and that truly awesome guy will see it too. But if you keep talking down to yourself, you'll keep settling for dudes who don't deserve you.

You are worthy of love, the best love, the most profound, magnificent love. 

You are worthy.

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