Thursday, March 26, 2015

Find Your Own Damn Cup of Tea

I had intended to write an entire blog post stemming from my statement above, but every draft proved to be supremely offensive. So I'll just leave this here for you and offend 89% less people.

But for all the ladies out there who know what I mean, can I get an Amen?


Ok. I'm going to give explaining myself another shot.

Here's the thing. There's always someone out there who wants to tell you who or what you should like. As a single mom (aka damaged goods) I'm told I should like the nice guys with nice jobs, two kids, a divorce or two under his belt, maybe a few emotional issues here and there.

As a woman (and supposed feminist) I'm supposed to like guys who never look at my boobs without permission, never slap my ass, agree with everything I say, let me make the first move, and never get too rough in bed.

On the contrary, others will tell me as a young woman in the dating world (shut up, I'm still young), I'm supposed to make the men do ALL the work when it comes to courtship and I'm just supposed to shut my mouth and act perfect and indifferent and only accept guys who are willing to pursue the living shit out of me.

As a nice girl (am I a nice girl?) I'm supposed to like guys who want to hold my hand every minute of the day, stare lovingly into my eyes all night, kiss like a nun, and make sweet gentle love once a month.

I've dated the bad boys. And I've dated the overly good boys. Yeah, I understand the bad boys aren't exactly my cup of tea anymore. But neither are the really good boys. It turns out my cup of tea is something else...

I'm not actually into divorced guys with kids and emotional issues (but I could be, I guess.)
The fancy job doesn't actually matter (a job is nice though.)
It turns out I do like guys to make the first move (BUT I'm brave enough to do it, and will if I want to.)
I like being told what to do (as long as it's something I want to do.)
I like guys who are assertive (but I like to be assertive too.)
It REALLY doesn't always have to be gentle (like really.)
Humor is fucking necessary (I can't live without it.)
It turns out it's really more about chemistry (good romance to sexual energy ratio)
And it turns out I hate when a guy just wants to stare lovingly into my eyes for extended periods of time (it's like, WTF, my boobs are down here.)

I'm not writing this to promote MY cup of tea; a bad-boy looking hottie with a heart of gold who likes to be sweet but can also throw me around a little (sigh.) I'm writing this to express the importance of finding your own damn cup of tea. What works for one, might not work for another. Don't let someone else tell you who you should or shouldn't like.

I've tried dating guys who aren't my 'type' and guess what; it fucking sucks. It's not for me. I have a type and I'm sticking to it. However, I wouldn't even advise anyone to forgo giving the 'other' guys a shot and sticking strictly to one's own type; I would advise to give it ALL a shot and figure it out yourself. Date people. Does it turn out your type actually sucks and you should give someone out of the ordinary a shot? Try it. Or does it turn out you were really onto something when you only dated guys who wear footie pajamas to bed? Figure it out.

Find your OWN cup of tea.

Because you know what? Someone else's tea tastes like shit.

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